Dissociation

The next symptom is Dissociation. Dissociation is a break in how your mind handles information. You may feel disconnected from your thoughts, feelings, memories, and surroundings. It can affect your sense of identity and your perception of time. The symptoms often go away on their own. It can feel like an out of body experience or like you’re in a thick bubble.

I am particularly proud of this illustration, and my ability to depict this phenomenon. I have not seen any other pictorial representations of dissociation and I pride myself in being able to put exactly how I feel when i’m dissociating into illustration form.  In this depiction, I am shown in a social situation, and I’m drifting in and out of my body.

Impulsiveness

The third symptom for BPD criteria is Impulsive Behaviour. Impulsive behaviour includes things like drug abuse, unprotected sex and other activities that can put the sufferer in dangerous situations.

The mechanism I have used for this illustration is a pull tab with parallel movement.

Unstable Emotions

This is the second of the nine illustrations. It represents unstable emotions. This is a very common symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder, and one that I particularly struggle with. With this illness, emotions can change with no warning in the blink of an eye. This makes day to day life very difficult and can push people away.

The mechanism I have used for this piece is a spinning one. The viewer spins the wheel and changes the facial expression. The emotions I have depicted are happiness, sadness, anger and anxiety.

I failed my first couple attempts at the mechanism. The first time I made the wheel too small, and the second time, I didn’t secure the wheel well enough and it shifted in place, and the faces didn’t always match up to the body. I predicts there will be a lot of trial and error in making these mechanisms, however I think that the first two have been very successful.

Illustration one: Unstable identity

This piece is the first of 9. This one represents one of the criteria for BPD: Unstable identity. The five characters are based on myself and outfits that I actually own, this project is going to be quite I personal one. I spent years trying to figure out my style and sort of who I was as an individual- but since getting the BPD diagnosis I’ve felt slightly more okay with embracing every part of myself, even though it can still be a bit disorienting and difficult at times. It makes fitting in that much more hard.

I learned this mechanism from video tutorials on YouTube.

Paper mechanics and BPD

So my original idea was to illustrate 9 songs to represent the 9 criteria for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (which I still might do), but since coming across JF Lemay, I really want to incorporate paper mechanics.

Therefore I have decided to make a small illustration that you can you can manually manipulate. I’m planning to make 9 to represent the 9 criteria. My current ideas are quite surreal, and will hopefully portray the struggles of BPD well.

JF Lemay

“My name is JF Lemay and i’m an illustrator from Quebec, Canada.

I always had a thing for drawing and how it allows one to create entire worlds with only a pen and a piece of paper. After being a freelance web designer for the past 10 years, I decided to pursue my dream of being an illustrator.

My artworks are often inspired by the beautiful macabre. Taking hints from H.R. Giger and Gustave Doré only to name a few, I love to explore darker themes and concepts.”- Jf Lemay https://jflemay.bigcartel.com/about

I came across this artist a couple of months ago and was immediately drawn to his work. He manually manipulates his illustrations to create a unique and intriguing way to make horror art. His ideas stem from an interest in popular culture, but I think this method would be extremely effective in portraying mental illness.

Artist talk: Bedwyr Williams

Bedwyr Williams (born 1974) in St. Asaph is a Welsh artist. His work combines installation and stand-up comedy.

This was one of my favourite artist talks as the artist was so down to earth, and was a lot lighter than some of the others. He said that there is no real meaning, he ‘had an idea, and does the idea’.

I saw the above piece in person at the saatchi and really enjoyed it without knowing the artist. I thought at the time that it was deeper than it was but I really enjoyed the concept. Each of the pairs of shoes have a story attached for the viewers to read and then can walk in the shoes.

His work is light and whimsical and I respect him deeply.

Pop up and Paper Mechanisms

After some conversations with my tutors and other students during crits, I have decided to go into the direction of paper mechanics. From my stop motion animation in second year, to the motor controlled illustration last year, I have always gravitated towards moving images and the manipulation of illustration.

I have been doing some research into paper mechanics and plan to explore the possibilities further and see if this method is good for representing BPD.